Back at home

The vet rang around 5pm with the results of the blood test – Sparkie was dehydrated, but her organs were ok and she doesn’t have parvo. After a mostly sleepless night, the news was mostly good. Sparkie ate her breakfast and hadn’t vomited, but she was still bleeding.

 

Mid-morning, we went to see Sparkie at the vet. She was lying in her cage with the side of her neck shaved and her leg shaved and bandaged. She's still on the drip, but she wagged her tail and sat up when we came in. Her chart says she's still holding down her breakfast. The bleeding doesn't seem as bad as it was yesterday. We sat beside the cage and rubbed her tummy and her chest and talked to her and fiddled with her ears and patted her shoulders and rubbed her unbandaged leg, for nearly an hour. We would have stayed longer, but the vet said we had to leave. Visiting hours were over.

 

Last night was probably the hardest night ever. If she's goes, my confidence goes, my motivation goes, my whole reason to get out of bed in the morning goes. We were at the big truck stop last night. Before now, every morning when we were here I'd take Sparkie for a walk past Bunnings. The staff recognize us and always say hello. And suddenly I was alone. I couldn't handle eating dinner on my bed last night. Sparkie always lies her head on my knee when I'm eating there. So I sat up on the seats, but still I found myself looking down, expecting her to be sitting there with her eyes bright and tail wagging as she waited for me to toss her some food. For the first time since I brought her home, we were apart at night. Not ever have I slept without knowing exactly how she's doing, where she is. For the first time since 12 March last year, I scrambled for the internet, begging for prayers on Facebook, my blog, everywhere I could think of. I was terrified I was gonna lose her.

 

Sparkie helps me face each challenge head on, and I owe it to her to give everything to help her survive this. She got me through 12 March 2011 and the horrible weeks that followed, and everyday she's right there if I need her. I guess that's why I kept subconsciously reaching for her, expecting her to be at my side when I'm helping cook dinner, expecting her to be behind me when I head for the door, expecting her to be waiting eagerly for my "get up!" before she leaps on the back bed, expecting her to be dozing at the foot of my bed. I kept catching myself about to whistle for her, call her.

 

Sparkie came home at 4:30pm tonight, not bleeding, not vomiting, not drooling, not shivering, etc, etc. She ate all her dinner and is alert enough to lay her head on my knee while I ate my own dinner. She's got to take some more medications over the next few days. She's tired and currently dozing on the bed beside me, but it's not semi-conscious drowsiness like yesterday. The next few days we'll both be taking it easy to recover from the craziness of the last two days.

 

 

 

“And where would I be without you?

I’d be packing my bags when I need to stay.

I’d be chasing every breeze that blows my way.

I’d be building my kingdom just to watch it fade away.

It’s true, that’s me without you.

That’s me without you.”

- Me Without You, a song by TobyMac