It’s like it always is. Just when I think “oh well, things could be worse,” they get worse. That job that was five hours away, turned into an eight hour drive because of road works and us repeatedly getting lost, and then when we finally arrived back home exhausted at 11pm the next night, it was without any good news. Despite the farmer’s assurances, it just wouldn’t be financially viable. We’d go broke in a very short amount of time if we took on that job. We had to say no.
But it’s too late. When my dad went to ask the boss how much notice he’d need before we quit, the boss took it as an actual notice and next thing I know we only had two weeks work left and then what? Without another job to go to, I have no idea what’s going to happen from here. Or how long we will be allowed to stay in the house here.
Winter’s set in. Frosts and hail and a bitterly icy wind. Bone-deep cold. The sun doesn’t shine often. The bad weather is a fitting backdrop to these hard times.
I’m not in a good headspace right now. I don’t want to go into much more detail or I worry I’ll say too much and regret it. I am angry, but more than that I am tired. It’s a dark time. I’m looking ahead but I don’t see a light at the end of this tunnel.
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