In Memory

Tomorrow would be Serenity’s first birthday. She’d be walking and talking and smiling. If she’d lived, that is. But she didn’t, and here we are, about to celebrate a life that lasted just thirteen hours. I can’t really be bothered writing out the whole story again, and it’s pretty sad so I’ll just stick to the stuff I put in my diary.

12/03/2011
It's today! Woke up at 6:30am (QLD time) when Mummy's waters broke all over the front seat, and took Sparkie for an off-lead RUN to calm down a bit! Talk about a good start to the morning. I've always dreamed of going for a run at dawn and it's just like I imagined! :) Let all the dogs out for a pee and then they all went back to bed. "Serenity" was born at 8am, and sadly passed away at 9pm. I love you, my dear little sister! :( No training today. Took the dogs out for a few pee stops, but we spent most of the day at the hospital. :(

14/03/2011
Really wishing I'd wake up from this nightmare! :( Short on lead walk for Sparkie this morning. Mummy's ringing around, sorting out the funeral and stuff. Surreal! Sparkie spent a bit more time outside today, tied up to the bus. Spent a lot more time with her too. Hard times! :(

15/03/2011
Early night last night, sorry I forgot to update! Got Sparkie a new tuggy yesterday. She loves it! The funeral is at 1:30pm on March 17. Gonna be pretty hard! Took Sparkie out for a pee stop and did a bit of random training inside. Went for a good jog with her up and down a running track, then gave her a dentastik. She loves those! Still sorting out the funeral details, I'm organising a speech and stuff. Got the results from the autopsy in the afternoon - they say it was the cord around the neck that killed Serenity. :( Sparkie had a good time on the long lead later, spent some time letting her be an idiot. She's pretty hyper right now!

23/03/2011
Sorry I took so long to update - been a hectic week! I did my speech at the funeral, that's all over now. Misty had 7 kittens on the 17th, in the morning. Yes, same day as the funeral! :) But unfortunately #6 was a stillborn, so Misty only has 6 live kittens - three ginger tabbies, two cream, and one gray tabby. We're not sure if they're boys or girls yet! Sparkie's been getting a lot more exercise, she is still doing great off-lead, even in public! :D We've been doing a bit of training, lots of fetch and romping with the other dogs. She's enjoying it! Been keeping in touch with Chelsea Marriner too - she's been a great help with Sparkie's recall issue.

 

I don’t how I would have coped with all that horrible stuff without Sparkie. She never complained and barked at being cooped up, just let me have a few days off training and pretty much doing ANYTHING. I remember stumbling out of the hospital that night and being too tired to do anything else except mumble the story in Sparkie’s ear then go to sleep. I also remember how well behaved she was at the funeral, and in fact all the dogs were good at the funeral, despite the lack of exercise. We had people from DCS and police officers and funeral whatevers coming in and out nearly every day and Sparkie just took in all in her stride. When I finally got my head back together she was my focus and I spent so much time with her. Even now if I’m feeling upset about something she’ll come up and put her head on my knee or just follow me around.

 

I want to thank everybody who has commented on my blog. It’s great to know people do actually care. The past 12 months have been really hard for my whole family and I really appreciate just knowing you guys are reading this. A lot of people have said things along the lines of “I know how you feel,” or “I’ve been through the same thing,” and then we find out they had an abortion or miscarriage. That is NOT the same as losing a baby that you held in your arms and really, REALLY didn’t want to lose.