No Reason Why

Trigger warning - pet death

It seems the second things are going right, the second I find myself enjoying life again, something always goes horribly wrong. But it's been a long time since life has thrown a curveball as terrible as last weekend.

On Saturday my mum, me, and Chantel went to Melbourne, for the AHBL9 Supernatural convention. It all went really well and we were having a fantastic time, up until Sunday afternoon about 4pm when we got the message that things back at home had gone terribly wrong. 

One of our four pet calves (who are now two year olds) had gotten tangled up in the hay feeder sometime during the night and had a serious leg injury. Although the vet said she hadn't broken any bones, there was muscle damage and Stormfly couldn't stand up. With such a big animal the inability to stand is a death sentence. The vet gave her antibiotics and pain relief for the night but he said it would probably be best to put her down. 

I don't remember much of the convention after that. I got my photos signed by the actors and tried to smile. Sparkie behaved like a professional of course, doing her job and trying to keep me in the moment. We wanted to take a train back that night but there were none until the morning.

So we left the city just before dawn, exhausted and anxious. It was three hours to the farm. Stormfly had not been able to stand up during the night and was now unable to keep herself sitting upright either. We stayed with her for hours, keeping her calm and trying to keep her sitting up. We offered her food and water but she wouldn't really take any. She was tired. We were all tired. Over the next few hours it became clear that she would never be able to stand up again, and twenty-four hours after that first terrible message, Daddy was calling the vet to put her down. We couldn't allow her to suffer any more.

Our three remaining "calves" watched the tractor carry her body away to be buried. There was excessive affectionate grooming between the three of them. They haven't called for their missing friend. I think they understand that she's gone. 

It was a freak, tragic accident. There are maybe twenty other cows in that paddock and we've been using that exact hay feeder for over a month. Why did it have to be one of ours who got injured, and on the one weekend we were gone?? There is no reason why. Life is unpredictable and cruel.